33rd birthday post

October 22, 2009

Memory of a memory

My father and I push a giant shopping cart around The Price Club. We are to fill it up with bulk items. 20 rolls of toilet paper, a gallon of mouthwash, a package of 8 brushes for teeth, blocks of cheese, frozen foods, small batteries, medium batteries, large batteries. With these items, I will move into a first floor apartment, with low ceilings on Putnam Avenue. The apartment is cold in the winter and cool in the summer. Every morning I will wake up to green ivy or foxglove or roses or changing leaves. Sometimes the backyard will fill with snow. On the occasion of a full moon, I will not be able to sleep for the insistence of bright light filling the room.

On the day after my 27h birthday, I will wake up with a sexy black dress, barely halfway down my body, a bra still in place and eye-liner smudged around my eyes. I will feel both sad and happy when I wake. This will happen a few times in other apartments.

We dodge other shopping carts using my father’s well-worked out strategy. Keep moving. When stopped, pull into corners. Remain alert. There are a lot of careless shoppers out there.

Babies like to sit in the front of shopping carts. Is that legal? They enjoy grabbing items of intended purchase and throwing them out of the cart back into the aisles. I would enjoy this too. I think I might enjoy doing it while I poop into my diaper. Sometimes I get together with my friend Julie and we throw food, but we don’t wear diapers or poop. We are ladies who like to be in control of ourselves and then to suddenly lose it. Suddenly.

Let’s lose it tonight, even if we don’t see each other. Suddenly.

Note: I might be losing in in Prosepct Park with leg warmers at around 9pm or I might  find myself at ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ at the Park Slope Pavillion at 9:15. In all probability, there will be a party at my house tomorrow night. Call me about all or any of these things.